Can We Love and Get Freaky or Just Love Getting Freaky?

People have said that sex complicates things. I have found that feelings usually complicate things. I don't believe I have been let down and upset over things not working out for quite some time. Precisely, it was at Easter 2011 when I learned the mistake of expecting things unspoken; the lesson in full. I have since replaced expectation with hope; The amount of faith I have at any given time is what determines how hope feels. With no faith, my hopes stay low, which makes anything good seem great. Whenever I set hopes high, it usually involves a lot of dreaming, planning, and imagining, which takes up a lot of time and occupies my mind when I'm trying to live presently. When let down, I'll feel bad, but only for the fact I let my mind get carried away, and I'll tell myself to try to be more realistic. When things do go as I have been hoping, obviously I feel satisfied and in control.

I find it is not easy to control extreme feelings like love. It is, however, pretty easy to control situations involving sex. If there is a person with whom I hope to either love or get freaky with, I choose love immediately. Everyone deserves to be loved and everyone needs  to be loved. What  I don't need is harboring negative or indifferent dispositions towards people, when we are all a human family in this mad mad world. So I treat men I meet like a brother - like friends first, no sexual chemistry. This is the me that would probably talk about sex and stuff, but it wouldnt be suggestive or flirty; its like im a dude when it comes to that stuff, including boogers n poo occasionally. Tru homies

Usually, before long, at least one of us or both start considering hooking up, getting closer, whatever. At least if were friends then its no big deal, right? Either its FWB or blossomed romance right? 

I sometimes may prefer a third option, which is to become lovers. Being lovers means its completely sex based and driven by passion. In lovers' time together, it is like being in a relationship, but its really just playing the part when together. 

Having had some lovers like this, I found its really easy for people to slide into moments of bliss and even  get temporarily emotionally attached when there's no pressure or expectations about the future. One may argue that players just pretend-love people because they're after the sex. I consider it just a part of sex-role dynamics. And I have many me's, and some are sexier than others.

The problem is, once I adjust to the sexual identity, it is difficult to maintain the relationship as it was before. If we were bro's and now we are getting freaky, then I would be acting like a bro after having gotten freaky. Lovers are always lovers as long as they're together. The contrast of character between a sexual me and someone's bro-me makes it so its hard to decide on how to act. 

So If a committed relationship is definitely not going to happen, but we've already done the deed, I would prefer losing touch with them just as much as I would wanna become lovers.

In other words, when there are all these nasty sexy things I wanna get into with someone, its hard to turn it off because it becomes how I see them and think of them. It changes who I am to that person and how I am seen by them. I like being someone's kittenslut. I like being someone's bro. I WOULD like to be someone's everything.