Convenience

It may be miles high in the sky, but The Relatively Convenient Store provides the greatest value available for all your favorite luxury goods and family needs. No longer must you spend days hunting and months harvesting your own food. From raw materials to packaged final products, our certified production process is implemented with the utmost pride and tradition. No plucking, skinning, gutting, trapping, picking, fetching, growing, harvesting, processing, raising, farming, curing, pasteurizing, or any other skills are required any longer! The only step for which the customer is responsible is the transport to and from any of our relatively convenient store locations.

Indeed, the number of steps leading up to our front doors exceeds two thousand, but the climb to luxury has never been so simple!  Discover which of our relatively convenient but consistently epic staircases is closest to you, and follow the steps all the way to the top, just beyond the highest cloud. A hanging ladder at the left will take you directly on our plane and to our level of elevation and lead you straight to the store’s front entrance.

Approaching the doors, customers walk down a long hallway lined with framed pictures on either side of the wall. Clearly they are all depictions of the past, illustrating a time before industrialization and technological determinism. Among them are scenes of workers on farms and in fields. Women fetching water from wells shown next to others as they take the dirt road home, buckets hooked on yokes. Native Americans hunt for game which they make use of every bit possible. All these pictures are showing different ways people have had to work to get their food and other resources. The collection of seemingly obsolete lifestyles is aimed towards making a statement about technological determinism and dependence. Are we helpless without technology? How do hard work and physical labor compete with academic achievement as virtues? How convenient will our lives become before luxury becomes a myth? How inconvenient will everything become after having had luxury?

Our associates will be relatively helpful and the most luxurious items will be on the highest shelves available. For a small convenience fee, customers can access any of our stepping stools, all of which are conveniently broken in places that don’t matter. For your convenience, Wi-Fi internet is enabled throughout all the stores, but all the power outlets are either found on the ceiling, or inconveniently, only two-prong connections. We have a customer rewards program in which you can build points and earn prizes, but members will be subjected to doing customer satisfaction surveys by phone, which inconveniently occur only during dinnertime. We accept cash only, but our ATM machine has no fees and works with any bankcard, although it has been out of order for years.

““Sir, I am so sorry about the inconvenience! Believe me, we are absolutely doing everything we can to repair the connection. I understand you came expecting FIRST CLASS service and accommodations, so let me go grab you a couple of those feather pillows normally reserved for the, uh, terminally ill flyers!!”

“I CAN’T believe I can’t check my e-mail until this AIRPLANE lands in 6 hours –… these a*holes advertise having wireless and I was expecting to use to my new tablet to take care of some business and of course it is messed up because some IDIOT didn’t do his job right ? How inconvenient.””

Cigarette Psoitioning

Regulations on cigarette advertising are strict leaving little room for creativity in the advertising department. I am proposing a brand of cigarette which will be positioned to be strictly menthol only.  They will use this to have an aggressive advertising campaign dissing non menthol smokers.  They will be rowdy they will be questionable they will be clever and they will be rude rude rude. They will be humorous.  Now the company ought not suffer due to sales lacking because they don't sell a non menthol cigarettes- because they will. Either give it some green packaging or just sell them in rollyourowsn bags of tobacco so they're more discreet. This is a open market position I think we should take advantage of it and see if we can't push the envelope here on some adult entertainment....& advertising with a brand that could really turn heads .

Power Rangers

The mission is to get children to ask their parents on Q for specific toy Items whence given the toys proper trademark name as they appear in their favorite television shows. Remastered children's television shows which have been merchandised enhance and updatethe programming with closed captioning. Now when a new character appears it's name pops up like a comic strip bubble and things slow down for just a moment the music changes real quick and then the original program continues. This is a perfect opportunity to reach the child when they are startled with words across the screen in addition to the regular intensity of the show. To engage the child when these introductory labels appear on the screen we need to install first the idea of Christmas in the child. This is to prepare them to hopefully associate the new information to the initial exposure of the aural prime. Across the channel anytime a speaker is mentioning helping a friend or doing the right thing , the help a homie jingle will Ringle in and instill the idea that helping out will get yourself what you want in the long run. I will do the dishes for a week for the..... toy.   I will try to keep my room clean if only I could have the ....toy. I'm yours for the afternoon mom if only I could have the toy.   
The second exposure is actually during the childs program during these remastered micro moments which is really all we got. If we threw some oohing & awwwing sound bites in the background that would help. Using a Christmas jingle may not be a bad idea. A condensed high pitch sounding of help out is more along the lines of what I was thinking for the help a homie sound but as an introduction jingle Christmas music that matches maybe a little funky to get the kids to distinguish our sound verses the originals- the traditionals.

Post-It

This is for a postit commercail using an inglorious basterds movie reference. The commercial shows young adults at a bar table playing the game featured in the movie; the scene from the movie is the one set in a basement pub in england when the basterds are in cahoots with the german actress. The commercial actors play the same game, quote the movie, same gender-ratio, but one of the male players is unable to guess his celebrity. He is told the time he has to guess is when the postit note loses its stick. He is ovetwhelmed with hopelessness when he realizes they werr using brand name post it notes.... he knows it will stick forever, and is at a loss coming up with questions